Is Ego necessary for success?

by Kayla Perrin

Is having an ego necessary in order to be successful?

This is a question I've been thinking about a lot lately. Perhaps it's because Simon Cowell so often tells the American Idol contestants that they need to be more "confident" and even "cocky" if they're going to make it in the music world. He seems to have little patience for the nice person, and is vocal about saying that the nice ones don't seem to have what it takes to succeed.

Is this true? And if so, does that explain why it's easier for people to see "beautiful" people in the role as successful, as opposed to the Susan Boyles of the world? We almost expect beautiful people to be cocky (and IMO, superficial); there's a false sense of superiority in our culture that seems to permeate from a person's looks.

On a recent Dr. Phil show, a mother wanted her 17-year-old to have plastic surgery to become more beautiful. She felt that larger breasts and a thinner nose would "open doors" for her daughter in the future. The daughter, thank goodness, was levelheaded enough and strong enough to believe that she was beautiful already. Talk about a mother doing damage to a child's psyche!

I've been noticing the demeanor of successful people lately, and it does seem true to me that many have what I would call 'an edge'. Simon Cowell, for one. I am personally more attracted to the ones who are nicer, like the Matt Damons of the world, but "ego" has made me wonder if, for me as an author to truly get to that next level, I have to put on some sort of "air" when I meet people, instead of being accessible the way I normally am. That perhaps people respect you more when you act like you're a little above them. Some authors were discussing this on a loop recently, and one commented that "familiarity breeds contempt." That if you're too nice to fans, they see you as "one of them"--and that for them to continue to respect and admire you, they need to see you as above them.

That mentality is certainly evident in some of the biggest personalities we see on television, and this past season's CELEBRITY APPRENTICE was no exception. Though Donald Trump is incredibly successful and has been filthy rich for a while, it seems he wasn't content with just money. He wanted celebrity. On an episode of this season's show when Dennis Rodman mentions being the biggest celebrity in a given task, Trump arrogantly tells him, "I'm the biggest celebrity here." To me, it was a ridiculous statement...I think Rodman is the bigger celebrity in the true sense of the word, but Trump wasn't kidding.

As the season finale of the CELEBRITY APPRENTICE began, Trump entered the theater with the live audience and walked onto the stage as if he were royalty. For me--it was a 'gag me' moment. But you could see he lapped it up, that for him, being considered a celebrity is something he really needs. It feeds his ego.

Or does ego feed celebrity?

It's an interesting debate. We all can point to an actor or musician who seemed nicer at the begining of his career, but with success and celebrity, they've succumbed to ego. They're not as nice. They're more stuck up.

I always hate when I see the nice ones succumb to ego. I guess I believe that people can be nice and down to earth and still respected as celebrities. But am I wrong? Because I also see something in the culture of celebrity that seems to almost require people like Kris Allen on American Idol to become somewhat stuck up in order to survive in a cutthroat business.

I sure as hell hope I'm wrong. What are your thoughts?

Kayla