Love Today

By Z(Aasiyah/Nolwynn)

I say it unashamedly - I'm a romance junkie! I crave it like a fix, whenever, wherever, how-ever. Books, writing, movies, real life - you name it. But what is romance all about today? What is it we call Love?

I came to ask myself this question over the past few weeks. Movies, books, writing, memories, stories - all of these have bombarded my existence lately and left me in a maelstrom of confusion almost. What is Love all about today?

It all started with the Indian movie Love Aaj Kal. What does this translate to? Hmm, literally, Love Today and Yesterday. Didn't make much sense to me, even when I saw the trailer. Heard the trailer actually, from the kitchen - the unmistakable voice of Bollywood cutey Saif Ali Khan. The words, in Hindi, spelt something like, Romeo and Juliet, Heer Rhanja (mythical Indian love couple), all those coupled-for-seven-lives thing (the Indian belief of reincarnation over seven lifetimes) - all these are not for us, modern people. All this just doesn't exist in real life.

Now this got me intrigued. It sounded romance and love story right up! I come over to the living room to catch this trailer, and I just knew, even if the scenes didn't make much sense (Saif is modern and trendy in one shot and bearded with a turban in the next, in what looks to be post-Independence India) that I wanted to see it. I was like, interesting. Is it a story of reincarnation? The beautiful, colourful and vivid images caught me though, and was like, gotta get this on DVD.

Sat down to watch said movie when kiddo is asleep and hubby is busy elsewhere (I don't wanna be disturbed, yup yup!), and would you believe it - two hours fly by without me noticing! The movie is gripping, as only a real contemporary, larger-than-life romance can captivate you! So what's the story basically? Jai (Saif Ali Khan) and Meera (Deepika Padukone) are a modern couple in London. The opening credits shows their relationship happening over three years, and how it gets terribly humdrum and boring. Then Meera gets an offer to go work in India, on art conservation projects. They decide to break up, rationally (and that's where there's the line of coupled-for-seven-lives doesn't exist except in stories yada yada).

Left alone in London, Jai misses Meera, and he meets Veer Singh, an old Indian fellow who owns the cafe that was Jai and Meera's favourite meeting spot. An odd friendship kindles between the two, on the backdrop of a generational clash about what love means. Veer then tells his own story, how he first saw Harleen and fell in love with her without a word uttered, and how he vowed she'd be his other half for today and all of their seven lives. At which Jai laughs - that's ridiculous, he says. How can one know it's love when you haven't even spoken to the person? The story then goes to show glimpses of Jai and Meera's lives in different countries, and the common thread runs through with Veer telling his own love story with Harleen. And at one point, it turns out, love ain't so different today than it was yesterday...

I loved this fact - that what may look modern and all may in fact be ruled and driven by the same things that ruled in the past, in simpler times, as Veer Singh puts it. The story is definitely modern, and there is the whole live-together-before-marriage issue that was unheard of in the past. At one point, Veer says to Jai that he loved Harleen with all he had and knew he wanted to marry her, and Jai goes, what happened between you?

Veer: Love.

Jai: And?
Veer: And what?
Jai: And... nothing else? Nothing...?

Veer: This nothing you talk about happened after marriage, son. Now you kids are all about the nothing and forget what really matters.

Jai: What?

Veer: Love.

As a modern Indian-origin person, I so understood what that was about! This is the world my parents grew up in, where nothing happened before marriage. In their days, your spouse was selected by the family, and the lucky ones had this opportunity - take a look (mind you, no word exchanged!!) at the selected groom/bride across the girl's family's living room, and state less than 24 hours later whether you agree to the match or not! Yes, you'd be lucky to be able to place in your 'choice', if it can be called that! One of my aunts was determined to reject every suitor as she was a die-hard feminist, and there's the family story of how she found something wrong about every guy brought before her. The weirdest rejection? One of the guys had worn mismatched socks! My own mother had the 'chance' to glimpse her intended before he set foot into the family living room. One day she had accompanied my grandfather to the hospital to see a sick relative, and as they were turning the car around to enter the yard (big deal to have a car back then, circa 1960, which was, bear in mind, still British colonial Mauritius!), and there he was, a dashing young man in his white coat sneaking out between shifts to go catch a bite to eat from the fried food vendor across the lot. That's when my grandfather, who had a soft spot for my mom as she was his youngest daughter, told her that this was the young man who would be coming to propose for her the coming weekend! And lol, my father had only seen my mother's picture, didn't know her or hadn't seen her in the flesh yet! The match was arranged between my grandfather and my dad's eldest brother who was the patriarch of the family.

So, that's the Indian outlook on love and marriage, but what about the modern world we are all so proud of belonging in? The one where 'antiquated morals and stifling customs and conventions' - in the words of Diya Hemant, the heroine of my novel Light My World - don't exist or are brushed off? Is it still 'a truth universally acknowledged that any woman over the age of 18 must be in need of a husband' (Gayatri Hemant, mother to Diya)? Where is Prince Charming or Princess Charming for the young folks? How does he/she come into your existence?

I'm tempted to cite the movie Love Actually here, because it's a fitting portrayal of what it's like to find love today, and also how unexpected and unsettling a process it can be. Love, whatever the description you personally give to it, happens when you least expect it, and often in the manner you least thought it'd happen. And often too, love happens when you have sworn off it. I met my husband in one such time. I was sick of men and was wailing over why it wasn't the middle ages and then I'd be able to go closet myself off in a convent! Hubby too was going through a monastery-sounds-like-heaven phase. One look at him across the dinner table though (we were 'set up' at a family dinner by my cousin who was also his sister-in-law back then) and all notions of convents were forgotten. It was like, if this man's free I'm bagging him! He however, didn't let go of the monastery ideal so easily. His take was, she's a cute imp. Cute, but an imp nevertheless, so that means trouble with a big T! He didn't know how right he was - I've been making his life hell-on-earth for the past 8 years, but hey, he complains only once a day now, so who'll bother, eh?

Love comes when you least expect it, and it makes No Reservations! I watched that one too recently, and just fell in love with the character played by Aaron Eckhart. His name is Nicholas Palmer, and he is every woman's idea of the ideal man! He's exuberant, lives life to the fullest, is a great cook, is wonderful with kids, and he makes breakfast! I'd recommend that one just because of this character, a wonderful hero the likes only romance can bring into the world. And also too, because yes, love makes no reservations, as the heroine Kate, played by Catherine Zeta-Jones, finds out with ensuing chaos in her ordered-like-clockwork life.


So tell me, what's love to you today? I'd love to hear your take!

Movie posters courtesy of imdb.com

Love Aaj Kal wallpapers and photos courtesy oneindia.in

Aasiyah Qamar - Cultural Romantic Fiction, With a Twist

Available Now!! - Light My World - Eirelander Publishing

Nolwynn Ardennes - The Promise of Fulfilment

Coming out January 8, 2010 - Storms in a Shot Glass - Eirelander Publishing

Coming out July 2, 2010 - Walking on the Edge - Eirelander Publishing

Aasiyah Qamar/Nolwynn Ardennes - Romance the world over

http://www.aasiyah-nolwynn.webs.com/