Happy (fill in the blank)!

Here we are, at the end of January. New Year's Day and Martin Luther King Day are over, but according to Holidaypedia, pretty much every day is a holiday, so don't put away those party hats just yet.

Today, January 28th, for instance, is officially Fun at Work Day. Yeah, I don't think my boss got that memo either.

Just who thinks these up? I hope it's not our state or federal legislatures. Certainly, they have more important things to do than to proclaim January 30th Inane Answering Machine Message Day. Though that could be fun. Anyone have any really inane messages to inspire us?

And heaven knows, I wouldn't want to miss Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day (January 31st.)I LOVE bubble wrap, and I plan to celebrate the heck out of that.

 

February is more than Black History Month. Besides Groundhog Day (Feb 2), this is the month to celebrate Dump Your Significant Jerk Week (week of February 7).  What could be more worthy than that unless it's National Condom Week? Which is totally appropriate since it falls the week of Valentine's Day. 

The week of February 28th is Telecommuter Appreciation Week. I don't think I'll celebrate that. I mean, heck, I don't get to go to work in my jammies and, from what I can tell, the whole telecommute thing hasn't done anything to relieve rush hour. Yeah, not celebrating that. You have to draw the line somewhere you know.

March is Irish-American heritage Month but what else would it be with St. Patrick's Day (17th) right smack in the middle of it?

The 2nd is Dr. Seuss's Birthday, which gives you a good excuse to show off your rhyming ability to your friends. (My friends are less than impressed with mine.)

Then there's a "pride day" everyone can celebrate on the 12th when it's Middle Name Pride Day. You could make a game of trying to guess everyone's middle name then figuring out what words you can spell with the initials.

On March 27th, I'm going to load my IPod with Ray Stevens and Brad Paisley songs since it's Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day. (Who but Brad would give the world songs like Ticks or Cluster Pluck.)

April Fools Day starts the month with a bit of silliness, which we're going to need since the 15th is National That Sucks Day--which many of us know more commonly as Income Tax Due Day.

The 26th is going to be more challenging for some of us since it's Hug an Australian Day. Some of us have to hunt one down, so if you're an Aussie, please advertise the fact and then brace yourself for the onslaught.

Besides May Day, Cinco De Mayo, Mothers Day, and Memorial Day, May also brings us National New Friends and Old Friends Week (both the week of the 16th). The 26th is National Senior Health and Fitness Day, so expect to see a lot of old foogies at the gym.

 

The 28th is Hug Your Cat Day. Really? This is one my cat is going to hate. Yes, I have a defective cat who hates to snuggle. Think I'll celebrate this just to annoy him.

June is loaded with cool holidays. The 1st is National Go Barefoot Day (which I plan to celebrate all summer whenever I can get away with it.)

The week of the 13th is Meet a Mate Week, so this may be a good time to schedule that speed dating you've been thinking about trying.

Father's Day (20th) is also World Juggling Day, so if your dad also juggles, you've got twice the celebrating to do.

The 22nd is Stupid Guy Thing Day. There's so many things you could do this day that the mind fairly boggles, but if you can't think of something on your own, go get lost on your way to one of his friend's BBQ party and refuse to ask for directions.

I have to think that whoever designates these days should really coordinate better. Shouldn't Meet a Mate Day (June 13th) be at least 9 months before National Unassisted Homebirth Week (July 1)? Though it does work well with the week of July 4th being Nude Recreation Week. Though you'll want to be extra careful with those illegal fireworks.

In August (as I'm still celebrating National Go Barefoot Day), I plan to celebrate Psychic Week (the week of the 2nd). If my psychic can come up with the winning numbers for the lottery, I'll be all set for Happiness Happens Day on the 8th. And really? If that works out, I won't need any other holidays.

September brings Labor Day and, sadly, Patriot Day on September 11th. And that's good. We need to remember because the old adage about if you don't learn from history, you're bound to repeat it is true.

The week of September 26th is Remember to Register to Vote Week. I want to know when it's Educate Yourself About the Issues in Preparation to Vote Week. We need that even more.

The 25th kicks off Banned Book Week, but I'm not sure if you're supposed to ban a book this week or read a banned book. Does anyone out there know?

October 10th is Columbus Day. Where would we be without him? Be sure to celebrate this. Unless you're Native American, in which case it's totally understandable if you want to burn him in effigy.

October 12th has a double whammy. It's not only National Face Your Fears Day but also International Moment of Frustrated Scream Day. Is there a particular tone to a frustrated scream? Because I'm thinking you can package the screaming with the fear-facing and kill both birds with just the one stone.

 

The 13th in National Bring Teddy Bear to Work Day. I'm kinda looking forward to this. I have this mental vision of big, burly guys with their Teddy Bears that makes me want to go "awwww!"

Another favorite of mine is National Grouch Day (15th). Any excuse to be cranky works for me.

The week of October 17th is Teen Read Week. There's lots of great books out there. Get your teen to read one. Even if you have to bribe them.

November tends to be dominated by Thanksgiving (at least here in the states), which is followed by Black Friday (the best day of the year to grocery shop incidentally) but don't forget Dear Santa Letter Week (the 7th). Got to get those requests to Santa early, and you just never know how good the postal service is at the North Pole.

November is also NaNoWrMo (National Novel Writing Month), so it's appropriate that there's a bunch of related holidays:

National Young Reader's Week: 8-14

National Authors' Day: 1

National Family Literacy Day: 1

Plan Your Epitaph Day: 2

Cliché Day: 3

Abet and Aid Punsters Day: 8

I Love to Write Day: 15

Whew! And that's why so many writers collapse with exhaustion December first. 

December is the month of all the biggies: Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanza, etc.  We hardly need anymore, but there's a few I like. On the 4th, there's National Cookie Day. A great time to practice, so you know you'll be leaving tasty cookies for Santa. And the 15th is Cat Herder's Day, coz if you're herding cats, you are so in need a holiday. And just in case you think these holidays are limited to old Terra Firma, the 19th is the Anniversary of the first Christmas Greeting From Space. 

And before you know it another New Year's Day will be upon us and it will be time to start all over again. Don't let another year go by without finding that holiday that's all but got your name on it.  What new holiday are you going to celebrate this year?